


First stance

by kattihart



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Angst, Eventual Romance, Fantasy, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-15
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:47:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27025276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kattihart/pseuds/kattihart
Summary: Kenma wakes up with no memories other than his name. Some things feel familiar to him while other things don't. He's trying to connect the dots, but that's a bit hard considering that he has, you know... no memories. The odd thing is that people keep talking about "magic" and "demons" as if they were real things. He doesn't think that's normal.Kuroo in the other hand has not been expecting Kenma to wake up at all. He had given up hope long time ago, but as if fate was mocking him, Kenma does wake up, but without any memories of him. But at least starting over is better than nothing, right?...Right?
Relationships: Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Kudos: 14





	1. Chapter 1

_ Plip. _

_ … _

_ Plip. _

_ … _

_ Plip. _

Kenma felt not so slight irritation to the sound of droplets hitting the water waking him up. He wondered if he didn’t close the water tap properly last night.

_ Plip. _

The sound seemed slightly echo off of the walls of the place he was sleeping at. It took a couple of moments to realize that he was laying down on something uncomfortably hard and in shallow cold water.

_ Plip. _

Kenma noticed he wasn’t breathing. At the realization, he quickly bounced up gasping for air. The world seemed to spin as he coughed, his throat feeling oh so dry. He had never felt so thirsty before, as if his throat was sandpaper. In desperation he used his both hands to scoop some of the water from the floor. His hands trembled as he did so.

The relief was instant, the water soothing his throat and making his thirst disappear, like it never existed. His chest ached from what he thought was the strain of coughing and he welt his stomach caving on itself from hunger, but at least he now had oxygen in his brain and he wasn’t dying from thirst. He clutched his chest and took deep breaths before lifting his head to see around him.

The room seemed to resemble a decorated cave, a room that had been carved out from a natural formed mountain spring. He couldn't see the end of the hallway at one side of the room, but the other side of the room indeed had a spring, where the sound of droplets had come from, moisture from stalactite slowly dripping onto the water below it. The water was overflowing onto Kenma’s stony bed, which seemed to resemble an altar of some sorts. Carved onto the floor was a clean rectangle that had pooled some of the spring water and had now made Kenma wet along with his clothing.

Kenma’s cheeks heated up as he realized that he wasn’t wearing any underwear. The only thing draped on him, was a simple white dress with some embroidery with a golden colored thread. Everywhere, including Kenma’s clothing had weird writing on them. When Kenma tried to read the writing, the letters seemed to shuffle in his eyes and it was quickly giving him a migraine.

If Kenma was in the mood, he would have found the situation a bit humorous, the room and the situation reminding him of one of his favourite games, but for some reason he couldn’t recall the name of it. He had absolutely no idea how he ended up here.

With some struggle, Kenma stood up on his trembling legs. He didn’t remember ever feeling this weak, but then again, looking down on himself, his wrists, fingers and ankles were so bony, he was surprised he could stand at all. He had absolutely no muscle under his skin. He felt already tired from getting up, but he was cold and hungry and his chest still kept aching, so he started stumbling towards the dark hallway.

“H-hello?” his voice was raspy and almost silent, as if he hadn’t used it in years. Kenma cleared his throat before trying again.

“Anyone there?” this time more clear, his voice echoed through the hallway, bouncing off the walls. He listened back on his own voice, trying to echolocate how far he would have to walk before reaching something, but the voice kept bouncing back. Frustrated, he sighed and leaned on the wall. He would probably die of hunger before he reached the other end of the hallway. He was just so tired and weak. He was about to give up, when he heard another voice bouncing toward him. He waited excitedly until he could hear it.

“k̷̬̆E̸̺̥͆́́n̵̦̅M̴̨̞͗͘A̷̤̒̄͒?̶̪͉̃̚” when he actually heard it, it hit him like a truck, giving him a head splitting pain, making him clutch his head with both hands. The sound echoed around him, making the pain only worse, and his ears started to ring, as if his own brain wanted to drown the sound with something else. He fell to the floor, tears in his eyes and not understanding, why was he in this so painful. It was as if his brain was telling him that he had understood what the person said, but didn’t at the same time.

Even though the echo went silent, the ringing in his head did not. Kenma kept clutching his head just waiting for the relief that seemed to be coming too slow for Kenma’s taste. Kenma felt dizzy again. When the ringing finally subsided, he could hear another sound, something like fast footsteps approaching him. Someone was running. It scared Kenma a bit, but he didn’t have the energy to run from it, nor did he have anywhere to run to. The other side was a dead end after all. Kenma stayed on the floor, leaning on the wall and waiting for the inevitable. He kept covering his ears, in hopes to protect himself from future attacks to his head.

From the hallway a human shape turned the corner and Kenma could finally see his assailant. The person stopped in front of him, out of breath and was staring at Kenma with a bewildered look. Even though Kenma was on the ground, Kenma could tell the man was taller than him, his ridiculous black hair spiked up only adding to his height.The hair covered one of his eyes, but the other one was wide hazel colored and sharp. He was dressed in white collar shirt and brown cotton pants, His eyebrows were knit together and he was clutching something attached to his hip.

“y̵͇̥̗͂̃ǒ̶̮̤͋ụ̷͆͜'̸͔̬̱̉R̸̫͒͊E̶̐͝ͅ ̴̺̱̦͂a̷͙̒w̵̖̉̎͝a̵͋͂͜Ķ̷̦̞͋ë̵̻͕́?̶͕̞͈̀̎͛” even though Kenma was covering his ears, he could still hear the undeciphered words that spilled from the man’s mouth. The pain wasn’t any easier, on the contrary it was even worse from this close, Kenma squeezed his eyes closed and groaned while squirming, trying to dodge the sound’s echoes off the walls to no avail. The ringing in his head was back, but it wasn’t enough to drown out the noises.

The man was instantly alert and came over to Kenma, assaulting him with more sounds that he couldn’t understand.

“Ḳ̶͖͖͐e̶̢̥̹͐n̵͓̗͠M̷̧̙̽͛͠Ą̷̳̤̓̏,̸̪̪͗̆ ̵͕͚̆̎W̵͚̙͔͌̌h̵̟̬̞̿̓̃ḁ̴̦̞̔ṱ̸̜̎͒͜'̸̡͌́S̴̢͇͖͒͛̕ ̴̨̌͌̃W̶͍̐͜R̴͖̥͕͐̒Ȍ̵̖̼̻n̴͇̫̔̈́̿g̸̼̏̕͘?̵̺̍͊̅ W̴̼͙͑̏͜ḧ̵̹͓́e̶͍̻͒͜R̵̡̝̀E̶͔͗ ̶̔̂ͅi̶͇̦̲̓͝s̴͎̎̄̉ ̶͇͎͒͜ì̸͇̮̾̀Ṯ̷̞͑̾ ̶̱͇̦͐H̴͎̹̣̚U̴͚̅r̶̫͈̦̂̾t̶̨̛͕i̸͈̲͋N̶͇̘͐͜G̸̣̉̓̏?̵͎͚̜̍̍̕” Kenma could barely register the man placing his hands on top of his own. Kenma felt paralyzed by the pain, trembling uncontrollably, but he forced his tear filled eyes open to plead the man.

“P̴̱̦̖̒͊l̸̙̲͛͊̈́e̵̦̓̽̆͜ͅa̶̹̚ͅS̸͍̊̿ê̸̞.̶̛̖̗̅.̴̯̻͛͜.̷̮͛͊” Kenma was instantly taken aback by the echo of his own words inside his head. The ringing turned into pounding until he could no longer see or hear anything else than his own fast paced heartbeat. His body finally gave out and gave him the relief of unconsciousness.

Kenma had no idea how long he had been asleep again, but considering that he still felt a slight headache and the same hunger, before losing consciousness gave him a hint that he was still alive. His body was still too exhausted to move, but at least this time he had something soft under him and he was breathing. It would have felt like laying on acloud if it wasn’t for his slightly damp hair. His clothes were dry though.

“...the spring water… ...madness…” Kenma could only pick up bits and pieces of the conversation that sounded like it was coming from far away. When he opened his eyes, he realized that it was because they weren’t in the room with him. But that wasn’t the thing he paid attention to.

He was laying down on a queen sized bed, cushions so fluffy that it seemed to swallow Kenma. Some curtains were draping over the bed, half closed and covering most of Kenma’s view. The room was decorated with red and what seemed like real gold, including the bed frame. Kenma pulled himself up and looked down on himself to realize that his clothes had been changed, a similar tunic with golden embroidery, but this time it had no writing and most importantly, was dry. He was still missing underwear. At least he was warm on the comfy bed and under a heavy blanket.

Before he could look around more, the door to the room opened and the same tall black haired man entered. He looked annoyed at first, but when he locked eyes with Kenma, the look turned into one of a surprise. The man opened his mouth to say something, but quickly closed it shaking his head. He made his way across to Kenma and sat on a chair next to the bed. He moved closer to the nightstand and started writing on a piece of paper.

Kenma took this while to examine the man more closely. For some reason, he seemed oddly familiar, even though he had no idea who it was. Whatever he had strapped to his hip earlier wasn’t there anymore, but now he also had a fancy looking red jacket with gold embroidery on it. He seemed to fit the room with his clothing. Kenma kept wondering how his hair was able to look so messy.

Kenma startled and felt embarrassed as the man suddenly turned back to him and caught him staring. The odd-haired man just frowned at the reaction but handed Kenma the piece of paper he had been writing on. Kenma cautiously took the paper while looking at the man, but the man just nodded at Kenma and pointed at the paper.

Kenma lowered his eyes on the paper, but just like the writing at the spring, the writing here seemed illegible, letters bouncing and shuffling from their designated spots. It was giving Kenma a headache, but he slit his eyes and strained to read it, as if he could will the letters to stay put. It seemed to work for a second before his headache became unbearable again so he shut his eyes and rubbed his temple with a groan.

The taller man took the paper away from Kenma’s hands with a sigh, before switching it with a bowl of unidentified soup, which made Kenma way too excited. He had been starving since he woke up and even though the bowl was small and it was only soup, he was still grateful he got anything at all. He ignored the spoon the black haired man was offering him and threw his head back to drink straight from the bowl. The soup was scorching hot and burned Kenma’s mouth but he couldn’t care less as he just got something to eat. He already drank almost half of the amount he had, before the bowl was suddenly ripped from his hands.

Kenma looked at the man offended, but he stared back a horrified look on his face. Kenma thought his face was hilarious, but he was still hurt by suddenly stealing his soup bowl away. He was about to demand it back, when the man suddenly grabbed Kenma by the jaw. He made a startled noise which gave the man an opportunity to stick two fingers into Kenma’s mouth. He pressed down on Kenma's toungue and forced it open all the while keeping a firm hold on his jaw.

“Ah”, Kenma was so confused by him, but he felt him forcing Kenma’s head to turn and he saw the man inspecting inside of Kenma’s mouth.  _ Is he looking for something? _ Kenma barely had the time to react, before he was let go again and the man sighed.

Kenma's confusion was apparent, but he was still mad about getting his soup stolen so he was giving the man his best glare. Instead of giving Kenma what he wantedn he put the soup bowl back on the nightstand.

“I’m still hungry”, Kenma protested. The man froze and locked his eyes with Kenma’s again. Kenma saw his eyes go through a lot of emotions, fear, confusion, anger and...  _ worry?  _ He just kept staring at Kenma as if waiting for something, but Kenma squirmed uncomfortably under his sharp gaze.

“W-what?” Kenma tried again.

“Do you…” he stopped himself from talking, still watching closely at Kenma’s reaction, but when he got back nothing but Kenma’s confused look, he continued cautiously, “You hear me?”

“Well… Yeah”, Kenma had an idea of why the man was being so careful as his speech had obviously been so painful for Kenma before. He had no idea where he was, who the man was or why he was lying down at the spring in the first place. The man just kept staring at Kenma as if trying to read him.

“Do you… know who I am?” Kenma felt his chest aching and head hurting again, as if his body was trying to tell him _yes,_ yet he had no recollection of him. The man waited for Kenma’s answer and Kenma noticed he was taking too long to answer.

“No”, the man obviously tried to hide it, but the disappointment on his face was obvious. He straightened up, not realizing that he had leaned forward in the first place. He avoided looking at Kenma again and instead focused on writing something again. Kenma tried to peek, but quickly looked away as the letters were still bouncing around as soon as the ink left the quill.  _ Quill? Who uses a quill to write? _ Kenma was sure there were easier solutions than an inkwell and a quill.

“So do you know who you are? Name and age”, the man continued questioning him.

“Why? Are you a doctor? This doesn’t look like a hospital”, Kenma felt slight annoyance, he still hadn’t gotten his soup back.

“Doctor? What…?” the man paused his writing and looked at Kenma again, frown glued to his face.

“It’s Kozume Kenma and I'm 19 years old. Can I have the soup back now?” the man shook his head resumed writing.

“You can have it after it has cooled down. You burning yourself with soup and making yourself unable to eat isn't ideal, when you're so malnourished. Do you know where you are?” he handed Kenma a glass of orange juice and he took it gratefully. It was no solid food, but still better than nothing. The slightly sour taste felt nice and cool against his burned tongue as he drank half of it. The man patiently waited for his answer.

“Nope. No idea.”

“Do you remember what happened before you fell asleep?” Kenma thought about it. He really did, but he had no idea. Instinctively he didn't want to even think about it, but as he tried, the headache returned.

“No. My head hurts when I try to think about it…” even though the man didn’t turn to look at Kenma, his expression seemed to soften a bit as he finished up writing.

“That’s alright. You don’t have to think about it for now. I’m Kuroo Tetsurou and I’m a knight. This room is a guest room at the palace”, the man, Kuroo, finally gave out his information, the name sounded very familiar to Kenma but somehow it felt wrong to call him by his name. Kenma wondered why he had such a feeling, but he thought it would most likely be rude to come up with nicknames on their first meeting.

“So… soup?” Kuroo smiled gently before handing over the now chilled soup bowl over to Kenma, who took it and drank the rest of it before Kuroo would change his mind.

“No wonder you looked so confused, having no memories… I heard that indigesting the spring water had some strange effects on people but I never thought you would actually drink it.”

“I was thirsty. If you didn’t want me to drink that water, you should’ve brought me something else”, Kuroo just sighed, looking very tired as he rose from his seat.

“In any case, I’ll send the healer in. He’ll want to talk to you now that you’re awake. And now that you can actually talk”, Kuroo started walking towards the door with the paper in his hand.

“W-wait”, Kuroo turned back to Kenma with a hand on the doorknob, waiting for Kenma to continue. Kenma hesitated, “...Was that because of the spring water too? I mean the whole… reading and speaking is a painful thing?”

“...I don’t know for sure. You were the one who knew most about it.”

“I was?” Kuroo nodded.

“If you need anything, you can ask for me. But I’ll send the healer in now. See you later Kenma”, Kuroo gave a small tired smile before leaving the room and closing the door after him. Kenma just stared at the door confused, before looking down at his bony hands.

_ A ‘Healer’, huh… _


	2. Chapter 2

Kuroo was nervous. After he left the room, he was supposed to go report to his post, but he ended up pacing back and forth in the east palace halls. The halls were empty as always at this time of the year so at least Kuroo could avoid odd stares at him as he bit his nails. It wouldn’t be too late if he left now, but he had more to be worried about than the nagging of his general. His biggest worry was just a few meters away behind a closed door. Kenma.

Kuroo still wasn’t sure if he was just dreaming or if he actually had seen those familiar golden eyes awake and alert. Sure, they had seemed a bit duller than he had remembered and sure Kenma had changed a lot in other ways too, but he was alive and even had walked by himself, given it was only a few meters.

Putting aside Kenma’s eyes, he had changed a lot since the last time he was awake. Kuroo had watched Kenma’s body age and become skinnier and skinnier as the muscles were left unused over the years. Somehow the spring had kept him breathing, but Kuroo had been afraid that he would have to someday come back to a mummified corpse. Instead Kenma’s hair had suddenly turned blonde and Kuroo found him fully aware and awake.

Kuroo stopped on his tracks and rubbed his already messy bedhead of hair in frustration. Oh god. He had been so cold to him. First, he couldn’t talk to him. It had caused him pain earlier so how could’ve he known, that now he was fine. Second, he did know that he should’ve been patient and just wait for the soup to cool down before even showing up with it, but even if he didn’t want Kenma burning himself on it, he shouldn’t have just grabbed his face like that. Even worse than grabbing his face, he felt slightly offended when Kenma didn’t remember him and just walked out like that. He should have expected it, really. Kenma had looked so awkward and anxious. Even though he had known Kenma most of his life, he ended up making the worst first impression.

Kuroo shook his head. No, he had only done what’s best for Kenma since the start. Kenma was most likely extremely confused about everything since he didn’t seem to have memories besides his own name. He had gotten his age wrong, but Kuroo should be thankful that he was at least aware of who he is. If nothing else.

The sound of a door opening and closing, attracted the bed-headed man’s attention. Out of Kenma’s room, came out the healer with black hair, glasses and white robe. Kuroo had always thought that Kiyoko Shimizu was somewhat attractive. She always looked calm and collected so her currently frowned eyebrows couldn’t be a good sign. She noticed Kuroo as he marched to her impatiently.

“How is he?”

“Well… I have both good news and bad news, which do you want first?” Kiyoko looked down to her notes, flipping the papers.

“I feel like everytime anyone says that, the bad news greatly outweighs the good news… Give me the bad ones first”, Kuroo sighed and started gnawing on his nails again, which didn’t go unseen by the healer. She grabbed Kuroo’s hand and moved it away from his mouth.

“Stop that. You’re not helping anyone by worrying so much. Walk with me”, Kiyoko started walking with Kuroo close to her tail.

“Should I? I mean should I help anyone? It’s been quiet since Kenma-... Does Kenma need help?!” the way to shut up Kuroo’s brain didn’t exist at this time. He had been one to overthink anything since he was a kid and Kenma seemed to be the only person to ever be able to make Kuroo relax, but Kuroo couldn’t go to him now.

“Calm down..!” Kiyoko let out a very tired sigh. She had grown used to Kuroo’s constant worries, but that didn’t mean it didn’t take a toll on both him and whoever was listening to him, “Kenma is fine. Or maybe better to say that he’s stable. But you can’t help him like this. You have to get a grip of yourself or I can’t let you near him.”

“Alright, alright… I get it”, Kuroo groaned in defeat while rubbing his face, before sighing and restarting, “So… How is he?”

Kiyoko studied the man’s face. He looked tired, but at the same time, his eyes seemed bright for the first time in four years. But more than that, with his brows knit together, Kuroo looked scared. Kiyoko couldn’t help but feel sorry for the man.

“...Well, I think you might have figured it out already but he will require extensive rehabilitation to regain a normal scale of movement. His muscles have gone unused for so long, it’s a surprise that he could even sit up. He’s also malnourished and dehydrated, but otherwise his body is fine. No injuries, external or internal.

“Then, his mental state… You were right, he has no memories. While he did remember his name and practically his age from four years ago, he doesn’t remember anything about his work or personal life. We should do some more tests to see if it’s possible to regain his memories. Other than that, he doesn't currently seem too bothered by not remembering.”

“Wait, he’s fine with having forgotten everything?” Kuroo couldn’t help but feel hurt, but the stare he got from Kiyoko, made him regret saying anything, “...Sorry.”

“No, I understand, but if you keep this on, I really can’t let you help him. I understand how frustrating it must be for you, but if your frustration affects him, I can’t be sure about what will happen.”

“I know, I might ruin our relationship forever or he won’t ever remember anything and ugh…”

“Well, yes, but that’s not what I meant either. And this is the thing I’m most worried about. As you know, when we first examined Kenma after… the incident... The connection between his soul and body was the thing that we concluded as the reason why he wouldn’t wake up.”

“Yeah? But he woke up, so that should be fine now, right?”

“...Well yes and no. I’m not sure what happened with his soul, but it’s extremely small. It might have shattered and only a small piece came back or it might not be his in the first place, either way it means that…” Kiyoko didn’t finish as she saw the horror on Kuroo’s face. She watched as the fact sunk in Kuroos mind, but he quickly shook his head in denial.

“No, no, no… He just woke up. Maybe his soul is just taking it’s time to get back. I’ll bring him back to the spring and he can still recover.”

“Kuroo, I don’t want to give you false hope. It’s very likely that his missing memories are connected to this. His body remembers but his soul doesn’t. I’ve never heard of someone recovering from a shattered soul. It’s already a miracle that he woke up at all, but as you know, any strong emotions will affect his soul’s stability. And when it burns out-...”

“No! I’ll… Help him recover. You said it was a miracle he woke up. Maybe the miracle isn’t over yet. He can still recover. Maybe the high priest-”

“Kuroo. Do you really want to bring the temple into this? Do you trust them to heal him in the first place?”

“No… But I can’t give up. Maybe Yachi-”

“No. Do not bring her to this. She has sacrificed enough already”, Kiyoko sighed and turned to Kuroo, stopping their walk, “Like I said, I don’t want to give you false hope. I won’t say it’s impossible, since I thought even him waking up was impossible, but him regaining everything is less likely than lighting striking the same spot twice. Just… maybe this was a chance given to you to say proper goodbyes. It’ll be easier for everyone if you don’t try to get attached again.”

Kiyoko knew that her words hurt Kuroo, but she had seen enough to know that he was more than likely to suffer more if she just told him that everything is going to be okay when it would not. She had made that mistake the first time, causing Kuroo years of not being able to let go. The Kuroo right now in front of him looked like a kicked puppy. His hands trembling in tight fists by his sides as if he wanted to punch something. Kiyoko pitied him.

“...Have you reported back yet?” she tried to give him something else to think about after Kuroo didn’t say anything.

“No. I’ll probably take the day off.” Kuroo kept staring at the floor, looking sad and frustrated.

“That’s… probably wise. Do you want me to tell them what’s going on or-…”

“No, I’ll do it. Don’t tell anyone that he’s awake. You said that emotions could affect him. The less people he meets, the better”, Kuroo quickly cut Kiyoko off, before heading off back to the direction they came from, leaving her stranded in the halls.

Talking with Kiyoko had done little to make him feel better about Kenma. He knew he was in denial and unable to let go, but he couldn’t possibly let go when he was still alive and awake, now could he? It’s as if she wanted him to act like he was dead already. Kuroo refused to do that. As long as Kenma was still breathing, he would refuse to accept that he was dead. He had lost Kenma once already. He wouldn’t lose him again.

Kiyoko had no right to condemn him like this.

\---

Kenma felt tired. The health examination had been extremely odd. He had expected some proper tests done, but instead the healer had come in, held his hand for what seemed like the longest time, asked a few questions and then left. This couldn’t possibly be how they examined people’s health. He had felt so awkward and his hand had started to sweat while it had been held by the black haired-… What did Kuroo call her again? Healer?

That too was odd. He could have sworn that there was some kind of different word for the profession. Healer sounded more like a joke. A bad one when he was in fact feeling pretty shitty. He still felt hungry after that one soup he had earlier, but neither the man or the healer had left him anything to eat. Just a jug of water by the nightstand. He would get something himself but his body was aching all over now and he was scared that even if he managed to get up, he wouldn’t be able to make his way back. He didn’t even know this place so there was no point even trying to find the kitchen.

Kenma was tired. Ever since he woke up, a lot of weird things kept showing up and while some things seemed familiar, they felt just… off. It was just like when he looked in the mirror provided by the healer. He most certainly did recognize himself on it, but he was just… off. He looked older, his hair was longer and not to mention he was all skin and bones. He was still him, no doubt, but not quite how he remembered. If he could even use that word.

While he didn’t remember anything, it felt like he was used to something different… The healer thing, this place, even Kuroo. They all seemed somewhat familiar, but didn’t quite match what Kenma felt like. It felt ridiculous to even think this way, since he couldn’t remember any of it in the first place, but it was exhausting to constantly have to try to get used to things that didn’t feel quite right. He would have thought that this was some elaborate prank being played on him, if it wasn’t for his own body that played a part in it.

Even turning his head towards the window while he was laying down on the bed was a big effort to make. Kenma couldn’t believe he actually got his body to walk earlier. Given that now everywhere hurt, but still. Looking outside, he could see only a few treetops and the sky. The trees had only a few yellow and red leaves on them but the sky was still bright blue with no cloud in sight. Kenma wasn’t sure if it was uplifting or depressing, but at least he could tell that it was fall or maybe the start of winter. He made a mental note to ask, what the date was. Maybe he would get something out of it.

He had no idea what the year was when he fell into a coma, but apparently it had been four years. He was no longer 19 but in fact 23. Maybe that was the explanation of why everything was just a little bit off. But it still didn’t explain the healer thing… Why was everything so confusing? Maybe he should just take a nap and let his brain do the magic of organizing things while asleep…

Kenma closed his eyes and listened to the silence. There weren't any sounds, human or animal, but only the wind howling at the windows. Even though his body ached and he was hungry, the bed under him was extremely soft and almost swallowed him up. The blanket on top of him felt heavy and was pressing his body even more to the mattress. 

The tranquility was broken by the opening of the door. Kenma opened his eyes and turned to look at the newcomer. It was the man who had introduced himself as Kuroo before. The man just stood at the door, leaning on it and looking down with a frown. The air around him felt dark and even though Kenma had just met this man, he could tell that the man was experiencing extreme sadness. Kenma felt like if he said something he would be intruding, even though the man was the one intruding the room he was in.

Kenma felt his awkwardness grow as he waited for the man to say something, but when he did not, Kenma finally opened his mouth.

“Umm… Are you okay?” the man finally looked at Kenma, looking a bit surprised, but quickly settling down as he made his way to sit at the chair next to Kenma’s bed.

“Yeah, sorry, I just…” Kuroo rubbed his hair in frustration before starting over, “I should be asking you that. How are you feeling?”

Kenma had plenty of time to think about how he was feeling, but he was more curious about this man. It seemed that his mood had plummeted during his time away from the room, maybe he came here for reassurance or something. He had seemed to know Kenma before and Kenma also felt familiar with him. Kenma was staring at Kuroo and he was staring back with an unreadable expression even though on the surface it seemed to be just worry.

“...Everywhere hurts, I’m hungry and I’m tired. But I’m okay I guess”, the man didn’t seem surprised by Kenma’s answer.

“That’s… I’m sorry, I’ll bring you food later, but since you haven’t eaten in four years, you have to take things slow. Do you want water?” Kuroo moved to pour some water from the jug.

“No, the woman from earlier-...”

“Kiyoko?” Kuroo filled in with the jug in his hand. Frozen in motion.

“I mean yeah, the... healer. Kiyoko made me drink a lot earlier.”

“Oh. Okay…” Kuroo put down the jug and rubbed his neck instead, “Did she say much about… your situation?”

“Not really… Just that I should focus on recovering my strength for now and my memories aren’t that important right now”, Kenma was curious about it as well, but he guessed that Kiyoko was probably just bad at her job, so there would be no way to get an actual diagnosis. So much for being in the palace.

“That sounds reasonable”, Kuroo sighed.

“Um…” Kenma hesitated, ” Am I wrong to assume that you knew me? Like before?” he avoided Kuroo’s gaze, he wasn’t sure how to talk about this and was pretty sure this was a sore topic if he was correct, Kuroo had been with him for four years after all. There wasn’t any other explanation to why Kurtoo was in that cave when Kenma had woken up.

“We were childhood friends, so yes, I did know you. If you have any questions, I most likely know the answer.”

“Well… You said this was the palace. As in the royal palace? Will I… stay here or will they send me home? If I even have one…” Kenma realized he felt quite homesick suddenly, even though he wasn’t quite sure what he missed.

“You have been living in the palace since you were fourteen. I’ve been living here since I was twelve. So basically this place is our home. Don’t worry, they won’t kick you out of here”, Kuroo misunderstood Kenma’s sad expression.

“I wasn’t worried about that, but okay”, Kuroo stopped to study Kenma’s face. He still wasn’t looking at him, and it was clear that Kenma was worried about something, but even with years of experience of reading Kenma’s mood, he still couldn’t figure out his exact thoughts.

“Once you recover enough, I’ll show you around. Maybe it will bring back some of your memories of this place”,  _ and maybe me _ . Kuroo finished the sentence in his mind.

“So this place really was my home? It doesn’t feel familiar at all.”

“Well, this is a pretty big place, and this wasn’t originally your room, so it’s no wonder. If you want your old room back, I can try to make the arrangements, but for now I think it’s better that you stay here. Also considering that you have no memories, I doubt that you’ll feel really familiar with anything”, Kuroo chuckled nervously, but Kenma turned to look at him.

“You feel familiar though. Even if I don’t remember you”, Kenma stared at Kuroo with his piercing eyes and watched as Kuroo’s eyes became brighter and the top of his ears redder along with his cheeks.

“Wait, really? How do I feel familiar?” Kuroo was extremely excited and it was obvious.

“Uhh… I don’t know? Your hairstyle?” That seemed to be the wrong answer as Kuroo facepalmed and started to groan.

“Of all things, it’s always my hair…”

“You’re the one who wanted to know…”

“I know, I know. Just…” Kuroo sighed, smiled and reached to make a mess of Kenma’s own hair, “Somehow I feel like you haven’t changed at all.”

“What do you mean?” Kenma felt annoyed, but couldn’t do much to stop Kuroo from rubbing the top of his head.

“I’ll tell you about it later. You should sleep. You looked tired since before I came in. Sorry to have kept you up”, so Kuroo did know that Kenma was tired, but decided to intrude anyway. The black haired man made sure to detangle the mess of blonde hair he himself just made before he got up from his chair, “And thanks for keeping me company. I think I really needed it.”

“Sure. I guess”, Kenma wasn’t sure what it was that lifted Kuroo’s mood, but he was glad that he could help. He watched as Kuroo made his way to the door again.

“I’ll see you later, Kenma”, and with that he was gone.

Somehow Kenma felt warm inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hahahah I'm back. I'm sorry. This took a darker turn than I expected. I'd say don't worry for Kenma, but I can't promise anything hahaha.
> 
> Just a bit of world building on this chapter and even more on the next one. I'll try not to ramble on for too long, but if you feel curious about some detail, feel free to ask. Some things I won't answer immediately, because I want to keep the tension. It'll also help me keep track of what I know and what I have actually written already. Also feel free to point out my mistakes. English is not my native but I'll try to correct them as I see them.
> 
> I still haven't finished my thesis. My motivation for graduation is close to zero cuz I got employed, but at least I stopped stressing about it. I feel like writing again. Expect another update on this soon!

**Author's Note:**

> Heyy! I just wanted to write something more... "light hearted"(?) than my Hamilton AU or my thesis.
> 
> If you wanna read more, leave a kudos or a comment so I know you liked it! I'll probably write more anyway, but it's always more motivating to know that others enjoy reading it.
> 
> I'm also trying to be less critical of my own writing, so I'm avoiding re-reading the chapters too many times. This also means that I'll most likely have more mistakes and odd phrases in the text. If you see any, you're free to point them out!


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